---
title: "Cans of SPAM are getting larger"
url: "https://bathos.org/posts/cans-of-spam-are-getting-larger/"
date: "2026-10-19"
tags: ["SPAM","the future","Todmorden"]
inReplyTo: []
---

# Cans of SPAM are getting larger

I was in the Fortean town of Todmorden on Saturday morning catching up with an elusive psychologist. We were both waiting for breakfast sandwiches.

During this process, we noticed the local newspaper headline: "Farmaggedon plot".

"Wow. Don't you want to read what that's about?"

"No way. I'm not falling for that clickbait headline," I said.

Then we turned and saw a woman emptying 1.81kg of SPAM on to a plate from a long tin.

![A hand holds a tall blue and yellow SPAM tin labelled 1\.81kg, with more large tins in cardboard boxes behind it\.](/images/posts/cans-of-spam-are-getting-larger/spam-tin.png)

For those who have not seen such a sight, it's beyond me to explain. But I will try, inspired by our heroine's force of will.

It took a long time to separate the can from the contents. I am not sure if SPAM is vacuum-sealed. But this is how it appears. Perhaps familiar to readers who have overfilled a kitchen bin and then needed to take the bag out. Multiple jerking motions. Some sliding apart. No apparent rhythm established between the two. A large expenditure required to achieve separation.

During the process, our heroine became aware of the absurdity and growing audience, and became amused. This did not affect her perseverance. A little after two-thirds of the way down is when it seemed most of us had fallen in love with her.

With Farmaggedon looming, a determined woman (dark hair, GSOH, over 1800g of SPAM) rose to the status of national icon, at a wistful distance, beloved by us all.

This was deeply concerning and profoundly alarming, the psychologist and I agreed. While the NHS cannot sustain a container for his Jungian work right now, we could both feel the archetypal force erupting into this cosmic hotspot. This was an archetype for a nation we had not recognised in ourselves prior. In fact, neither of us had been part of a crowd that was getting swept up in collective pride and admiration in this way. This is the sort of thing that only happens in propaganda films, hyperreal short-form video and mid-market national newspapers. And we, of course, are immune to such things.

Farmaggedon? Giant cans of SPAM? This can't be good. Later that same day, other newspapers ran headlines about preparing for war.

The last time The Resistance sent SPAM back from the future to help us fight for it, the cans were much smaller. Perhaps this means things are more abundant where they are: the future has excess meat protein and we needn't worry. Or perhaps it means they see the acuity of our peril and are doing everything they can to help us through.

The last time SPAM entered my life in a big way, a worst case scenario disaster planner was slamming it down raw in the middle of a date between two innocent parties. SPAM is much too rude for people keeping up appearances. It is a large pink block of meat in a can with the word SPAM written on it in huge letters. When it's here, you know about it. Much mirth and hilarity in that situation. But it was not long before the planner was being consulted by FEMA on plans for sanitation and evacuation.

That can was about a third of the size. The original domestic SPAM can – sent to protect humanity during WWII – was about a fifth.

What else is being sent to us from a future that wants us to avoid it? Stay alert.